Day 105 – Living Life

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Day 105 – We have Beard!

I can’t believe it has been a week since I last shared with you, but time flies when you are having fun!  It has just been good but a bit frustrating.  By the time I get done with my day I have just been ready to go to bed.  Last Thursday I had an appointment with Louise and it went really well – I have been extended to a month!  Then I headed over to yoga and made it home about 8.  Friday was a thrilling day of cleaning house, but I made it all the way through this week including laundry.  Now it took me until 7 and I was pretty worn out but felt really good about getting it done.  Saturday we got to go to a “reveal” party for my nephew Will and his wife Jessa. Apparently this has become the real hip thing to do even to the point where Krispy Kreme sells donuts that are filled with pink or blue filling for the parties.  We all bit in at the same time to find out that it is going to be a boy.  It was fun and Albert and Jan, Daryl and Val are really excited about the prospect of a grandchild.

Sunday was a sleep in morning, it was really funny I was asleep and opened my eyes about 10:30 and the house was so quiet that I thought it was Monday and that I had overslept for my therapy appointment.  I jumped out of bed and went running into the kitchen and saw Kathy with her headphones on the computer!  I just turned back around and fell back into bed and was immediately sleeping again!  I slept until 12:30 but I spent the afternoon in the shop working on a project for Eric at Farmtastic Creations and finishing up a mortar pestle Christmas present. 29133005_10214874070781182_2656956538417053696_n Keoni and Amy stopped by for a minute to pick up some leftover donuts for the pigs then Kat made chicken piccata for dinner with black bean pasta. With the time change and all the activity it was back to bed!

This week hasn’t been as adventurous but Monday I did go to the physical therapist for the lymphedema therapy.  Kim is my therapist and she spent the appointment doing baseline measurements. She is very optimist that we can shrink the “waddle”  and we will get down to it Thursday.  Kat and I ended the day at the woodturner’s meeting where we had a demonstration on turning long thin objects by Ed Malesky.

Then the wall appeared.  I did not wake up until 2 o’clock Tuesday and had to force myself to go to yoga then today I got up about noon and have spent the day on the couch licking my wounds.

Barbara helped me to put it into perspective Monday night.  I have had 5 good days.  They may not have been 100% and I may have been tired and sleeping a bit but I did string 5 together before I had to quit.  That is so much further than I was a month ago and while the last 2 days would have depressed me a month ago, today I can feel good about the accomplishment and understand the need to rest.  I still do feel a little selfish when I tell people I cannot do something, but I  am trying to make intelligent decisions and I have quit imagining what they think.  I am doing the best that I can and cannot help it if that is all that I can do.  We were going to go to Atlanta this weekend to see the American Craft Show Saturday and spend the weekend with my nephew Chaz and his fiance Jovie until Kat pointed out to me that I probably didn’t need to spend all day Friday driving, all day Saturday at the show and all day Sunday driving home with some visiting thrown in the middle.  That is why I love that woman so much – she is so practical…LOL

A kind God, sage advice, prayer and taking action has been very good to me. I feel myself getting healthier and stronger daily.  The best part is that I have been able to to it with a smile and forgiveness in my heart.  Instead of waking up today being mad and disappointed at where I am, I am able to be grateful for the progress and thankful for the time given to me to heal without the pressure to perform. And then I have you, my loving and faithful friends who check on me daily and cheer me on toward healing.  I love you and appreciate you.

Don

LESSON OF THE DAY – “Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.”   William James

Day 95 – Trudging

2018-03-03 17.51.36Hey what is with this weather??? Come on I was really digging this heat, but it’s still another day in paradise! Typical of the recovery it has been another “pay to play” week.  After the 12 hour day and sharing the good news with you Tuesday I slept until about 2 on Wednesday and picked Ms Kathy up from the airport about 7.  Her trip and my activities had us both in bed by 9 that night.  Thursday I got up to go see the crew at Dr Breitmoser’s and get my teeth cleaned.  I was feeling pretty good and had scheduled a meeting and lunch with my friend Peter to catch up, but by the time Kim finished cleaning my teeth and I caught up with Jan I had to get in the bed.  I called Peter and canceled and was in the bed by 11:20 and did not get up until 4.  I did go to yoga but was back asleep by 9 that night.  Friday I had to cancel on Peter again because I couldn’t get up until 2 but I was able to change the sheets, gather up the laundry  and pick up the house a little bit so by Saturday I was feeling pretty good again.  I felt so good that I hit the shop and finished that “ball cap” job!

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Finished! and still have it!

Turned 3 more of them and was so happy the only problem was cleaning up all that PVC.  It was stuck to every tool I used, my lathe was white and I know there will be white streamers out there for weeks.  But it was so cool to be there and get something done.

Poor Kat had to catch up on her Alcohol Ink class this weekend because of her traveling  and spent 7 hours on the computer Saturday – needless to say we went to bed by nine last night!  Today was pretty nice too, we started the day having brunch with Jan and Albert and Will and Jessa.

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Sunday Brunch Bunch!

We all met at the Uptown in Springfield and enjoyed a meal and some catching up.  It had been so long since we had seen them that we finally gave Jan her birthday present – it was only 3 weeks late.  Next stop was the Jacksonville Gem Society to pick up our glass projects from last week.  Not only did we get to do that, Heather was teaching a silver class on making fidget rings. They started from flat sheet silver and silver wire and it was pretty cool. I think that this membership is going to be interesting.  We finished the afternoon with Bernard and Susie.  Kat had made

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Fused Glass

pot roast and we took them over some dinner.  Susie is doing better with her shingles, but she still needs prayers – she has been at this for 5 months.

So that gets you up to date.  I can tell you that I am really doing much better.  The little successes have helped me to come to a peace with the rest.  If I have to sleep – I have to sleep.  It is just a part of the recovery.  Do I want to do it?  Oh no – I would rather be spending my days in the shop and catching up with all of you that I haven’t seen for months, but I’ll take it today.  The good days are better and the down days are predictable. And with yours and God’s backing I am golden.  The post that I made Tuesday saying that we got this had 139 likes and 90 comments and that does not include the blog comments and likes.  I keep telling you that God loves me and I’m blessed with wonderful friends and family!  Thank you for being by my side.  Next week – follow up with the ENT, Dr Moy that did the biopsies that found the cancer in the throat.  Yippee – another scope through the nose and hearing tests.  The chemo and radiation have effected my hearing and he is going to check that out.  I have an appointment with Louise to check my mental well being and finally a gender reveal party for Will and Jessa’s baby.   It’s going to be another great week!

Don

LESSON OF THE DAY – “Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”       Marie Curie

 

Day 90 Grateful!

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Day 90 – Cancer Free!

Okay I won’t even beat around the bush – WE DID IT!  I scanned cancer free!  There are some spots that we are going to watch, but Dr Dagan believes that they are probably not anything.  I will have another CT Scan and Pet scan in 3 months just to be sure.   The swelling he saw when he scoped me  in January is completely down  – yes another scope through the nose.   It must have been a tough day there.  Dr Dagan said if it wasn’t for me coming in, he would have gone home – but he thanked me for being so cooperative and told me that I was high point of his day. I was humbled and proud.

Next stop was Tubel’s to get Kat’s oil changed and tires rotated.  See, she had me take her to the airport this morning because she is attending meetings in Tampa until tomorrow night. So I had to get up at 6:15 to get her there and I didn’t have time to get back home before my appointment.  I had another at 3:45 with Dr Ilene and would have gotten back to the house just in time to leave again so I had the esteemed privilege of doing something nice for my wonderful wife and had her oil changed.  Dr Ilene was pleased with progress and couldn’t find anything else wrong.  After that yoga and here I am with you. Exausted!

Thank God, thank Kathy, thank Jan, thank each and every one of you for helping me get this far.  Don’t worry,  I know it is not over, this story is not done.  I was told by more than one person today to not expect to get back to work for awhile and that I would probably feel pretty close to normal by the first of next year.  But I have seen the light on the way to the mountain! Hallelujah!  Prayer works! I am blessed and grateful for my life, God loves me and you.

Don

LESSON OF THE DAY – “Sabbath observance invites us to stop. It invites us to rest. It asks us to notice that while we rest, the world continues without our help. It invites us to delight in the world’s beauty and abundance.”    Wendell Berry

 

Day 89 – Nervous

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Day 90

It was a pretty awesome weekend!  Saturday Kat woke me up about 7:30 and we showed up at the Jacksonville Gem Society about 9:15 for a fun filled play day under the tutelage of Heather Furman.  We explored the world of glass and heat.  The class was an introduction to fused glass and anything else we could think of.  We designed, cut glass, used torches to make spirals, dots and beads, sluff with a kiln and a bunch of stuff that I have already forgotten.  We did not finish up until 5 and we will get the finished product soon.  There were 7 of us in the class and we had a ball! We came home and Kat fixed this wild Chicken Parmesan Pizza – great stuff!  We can talk about taste and appetite for a minute.  I am have a small appetite and am currently at 162 lbs. My taste is about 80

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Chicken parm pizza

percent there some things are closer than others. Peanut butter and grits are still my favorites.  I have been consistent in my weight for awhile and still drinking Ensure, protein and herb smoothies (mushroom blend, green blend, turmeric, hemp seed, chia seeds, egg white protein and macaboost) and getting in 2000 calories a day and I’ve been experimenting.  I bought some Publix spicy wings today and baby they lit me up!  I was washing them down with milk and my head was sweating, sweet Jesus heat is magnified!  I ate 4 and that’s all I can take, I’ll have to take the rest down to Uncle Tom and Aunt Pie.

The downside to the great day Saturday was a lost Sunday.  We went to bed early and I slept until 1:00pm, ate lunch with Kat, read on the patio for a 1/2 hour before napping, until 5:00, ate and we were in bed by 9:00.  Today I slept until one, but was able to run some errands and feel pretty good tonight.  I did get out for a walk and the blooms are gorgeous.  When you are grateful for your day it is so much nicer and easier to see the world around you. I am so blessed, a God of my understanding, wife, family, friends, life there is nothing else I need.  There is some goofy stuff I want but if I’m supposed to have it  – it will show up.

The nervous part – tomorrow is the big reveal.  I see Dr. Dagan at 10:00 to find out if we

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The love of my life!

got this on the first shot, then I see Dr Ilene for my 1st physical in the afternoon.  It has already been 3 months since the last treatment.  Lots of bitching, sleeping, weird experiences, but I have been carried and loved like I never expected.  The real thing is that I’m curious, I know that whatever the news is it will be what it is supposed to be.  God has a plan and the outcome is really unimportant, what is important is my reaction  to the news.  As my lovely, but smart-ass, wife responded to my inquiry – “What if we didn’t get it? “You go back to treatment – duh”

Don

LESSON OF THE DAY –  “We can easily forgive the child who is afraid of the dark, the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”   Plato

 

Day 86 – Ups and Downs

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Day 86

It’s Friday and I think that I just heard the chirp of Kathy’s car in the driveway…YEA! It has been a long day.  Thursday was incredible.  I went over to Farmtastic Creations to help my friend Eric work on some barn doors then came home and ran the vacuum and cleaned the bathrooms and felt great. I made some overdue phone calls and tied up some junk that had been hanging out there, Kat and I joked around and it was just as close to normal as I have felt in months.  Then came the morning, or more real, afternoon! Every bone in my body aches, my eyes won’t stay open and I have all the motivation of a slug. But today it is all okay. I just got up and did what I could.  That consisted of some emails, laundry and the couch.

I know that someone watching from the outside would think that it is a total hoax.  How does a guy go from normal to stop in a 24 hour period.  Hell I wonder that myself, but I am not going down that rabbit hole again.  My life is to short to waste my days, no matter how I feel, on a sick mind.  Yes depression will happen but with awareness, treatment and prayer I don’t have to let it take me to places I don’t want to go.  The committees have been dismissed and the squirrel cage has been greased – what a relief.  My thoughts this morning were “Isn’t this curious – I felt so good yesterday, so we have this all day class on Saturday you better relax and make plans for a soak before an early bedtime.”  And the simple act of being proactive rather that reactive has made today tolerable. Yes I wanted to do more, yes I wanted to feel better but because of the work I am OK and that is good enough today.

Tomorrow we have an all day class with Heather Furman. Heather is a glass artist and is going to take use on a trip through glass fusing and planets unknown.  It starts at 9:30 and runs until 5 so I better get some dinner and work my way to bed.  Don’t worry I’ll take pictures.

Don

LESSON OF THE DAY – “We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it. “        John F. Kennedy

 

Day 84 – Cruising

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Day 84 Gratitude!

My life is so incredible – what more could I ask for?  Sure there is plenty but what I have is just right.  This morning I woke up with a headache that was bad enough to make me nauseous, so I stayed in bed until 12:45.  Was I happy about it – no, did I have to let it ruin my day – no so I choose to not let it.  So I prioritized the day and got started.  No rushing no fussing just trying to make the best of it.  I choose the shop instead of walking and that makes the second day in a row that I was out there.  Now it took me 2 days to turn a ball cap  that normally takes me an hour, but it is the 1st time that I have turned since the week before Christmas and it is all to spec!

Monday Kat was off and we had lunch at Hawker’s Asian Streetfare.  We love that place.  I had the presence of mind to ask if my favorite, Kim Che Fried Rice, could be fixed with less heat and low and behold they could.  What a difference it was enjoyable – I guess I’ll start asking more…LOL   Next we were off to the tax guy and got 2017 filed then decided to check out IKEA.  We really had a great day for her last day of vacation I was really sad to see it end. 2018-02-09 08.25.07 We did get some cool kitchen ideas for the future.  But as usual, I paid for the day out on Tuesday and that is just a cost of doing business.  What are the choices again?  I have decided that my life is too short to be pissed off or miserable.  I have wasted enough days fighting things not in my control and I hope that I am done.

I finished the day by running over to Susie’s and Bernard’s to check in.  I love spending time with those guys – they are really important to Kat and I. We are blessed by wonderful friends – I could not imagine life without them.  Finally, home to see my wife and hopefully get to bed early.  I wish you all a wonderful night.

Don

 

LESSON OF THE DAY – “When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.”

 Winston Churchill

Day 81 – The Beat Goes On

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Heading out for a walk

Sunday night the weather is glorious and the smell of alcohol ink is in the air!  The past 4 days have been spent in repair mode after the 5 day push last week.  I have consistently been sleeping 12 hours, but I have been going to sleep and staying asleep so it has been much better.  It is amazing how letting go and not getting hung up on what you should be doing eases your mind at bedtime.  I have also been taking a nap each day so I guess the symposium and testing was harder on me than I realized.  Today was the first day that I felt like walking this week, 2 nights of yoga was enough extracurricular activity.  My activity with Louise, the weather, prayer and personal work have eased the depression to barely negligible.  I even did okay with Kat spending 3 days cleaning the shop, I worked inside on the taxes and got them ready to submit.  It was probably a good thing I didn’t go out before yesterday.  I went out to help for about 3 hours at the end and wore myself out.  After the group left I could not move or keep my eyes open so I took a nap at 4 and still went to bed by 10:30.

Amy, Keoni and the crowd surprised us with lunch from Fire House and a birthday party for our great niece Baylie.  She doesn’t turn 3 until February 28th but she wanted to make sure that she celebrated with Grandma and Grandpa and we were blessed to be included. We sat outside on the patio and enjoyed a beautiful day.  The only downside was when Baylie’s 5 year old sister Rylie wanted to go out to the shop and turn tops.  They spent a day with Kat and I about a year ago and we spent the day in the shop turning tops and making wooden boats. I had to tell her next visit but we did get out the tops and had spinning competitions to her delight.

Today we got up with aspirations of attacking the world with gusto but settled for another quiet day at home together.  Kathy worked on her alcohol ink class and homework and I went out for a long walk.  I was so struck by the colors and flowers and how fast that they are showing up – God’s palate!

We had an excellent steak dinner and enjoyed a nap together.  I am consistently amazed at my life when I do the things that I am supposed to do.  Of course you have to trust God, set aside your ego, try and help others and take particularly good care of yourself – and we can all read through the history to see how well I do with that…LOL  The good news is that I seem to be getting there more quickly anymore. They keep telling me “Progress not Perfection” and it is starting to maybe sink in.

Don

LESSON OF THE DAY -Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.  Charles R. Swindoll