Happy birthday to me! In my 63 years, yep you saw that right, I have never really gotten used to having my birthday so close to Christmas. For me, by the time you get through December with all the Christmas parties, Christmas eve, Christmas day, New Years eve, New Year’s day the last thing that I want to do is celebrate again. Then comes the whole “what do you want for your birthday?” To be truthful, not much since Christmas was just 10 days ago and I told you Santa was kind to me. To her credit Kathy does a pretty good job. This year she gave me 4 new ear rings…..very cool – a gecko and sword for me and a “swirley dwerly” and lips for her. Tomorrow night dinner with Jan and Albert?
I am not in a good spot if you can’t tell. It’s not the
birthday, it is just a bought of my January funk. The winter before I left Kentucky I was standing at the door looking at the snow and I was crying. Seasonal depressive disorder. If it rains for a week, Kathy would prefer that I move to Jan’s than to deal with me. I have been going down hill all this week and with a little help from Kathy put it all together today. I was cruising, as as before, until I had a couple of mild setbacks. First the weather has been raining or freezing and I was not getting enough sun, and second my back started peeling and itching and my ear is doing something weird and oozy. I have been so focused on my neck, I did not realize that my head was so dry. I just need to ask God for serenity and pay more attention to it all. It’s hard for me to fight the urge to be “normal.” I did give myself a break with staying in out of the cold and did rest, but I just gave myself a pity party and I am OK with that, been through it too many times. I’m getting way better about realizing it, and it doesn’t hurt that Kat knows when I am in it. It is so much better than was. God, therapy, and people that love me and ones that see me 7 days a week have taught me it’s okay, it is real and I can do something about it.
So I end a crappy cold week, rested, addressing my new conditions but best of all, ready to get back to it – a little older, a little wiser. I have my 6 month appointment with my dermatologist and the follow-up with Dy Moy, the ENT that did my biopsies, on Tuesday, so I will buff up on what to expect with my skin and ears. God, prayers, people and I am OK again.
LESSON OF THE DAY – “Logic itself will not lead me to God, but my love of the world and my gratitude to it will.” Steven Colbert