Well I got that wish – slept until 12:20 this afternoon and only got up 3 times. I would think that you would get caught up at some point but apparently not with cancer treatment. After the morning norm I was down for a nap by 2 o’clock. Hey nothing wrong with sleep when it is not associated with depression. My cute mate spent the day in the frozen shop coming in and out cokes and bathroom breaks. She had on long underwear, camos, long sleeve shirt and a pullover fleece jacket with her earmuffs. She looked adorable. I took the afternoon to give myself a haircut, shave and a shower then got dressed for an outing to the store to pick up necessities and maybe even a birthday present. Kathy’s birthday is Monday and you can’t go forgetting that! Tonight we had a romantic candlelit dinner of hotdogs and chips and the hot dogs worked – I will be adding them into the peanut butter rotation. With the chilly weather, Kat got her shower and we are sitting on the couch in front of a nice fire, the first one of the season. They say we are going to freeze tonight, but I refuse to believe it yet so I am not covering the plants. We did get a call from William in Jersey City this morning. He was excited because it was his very first snow. His plans were to go out and have lunch at a ramen bar – I know who would have ever thought that there would be such a thing as a ramen bar but on further examination it appears we have more than 10 here in Jacksonville, then go to a park to play around in it.
The sleep really has helped , along with a major dose of acceptance. I had to ask myself why do I fight and fight trying to rush the process day after day rather that taking the easy road of acceptance. So last night I decided to just roll with this, do what you are supposed to do rest, eat and drink, and anything else is a bonus. Yes it is selfish, self-centered and just what I needed. I slept like a baby last night and was overjoyed when I felt like doing something after my nap. Priority – haircut and a shower – bonus shopping and doing something useful. And when I got home and didn’t feel like doing laundry – it was okay. (Easy for me to say most of what I wear is pajamas!) That moved to priority for another day. As you can tell, this living life on life’s terms does not come easy for me. It is a daily adventure not for the weak of heart. It takes successes and failures and minute by minute monitoring on my part. It takes discussions with God to relieve myself of these feelings and action to change the way that I do and see things. Is it easy? – Hell No – but it is worth it. Let’s see, feel good about what I am doing or feel awful about what I am not doing? I don’t profess to be a rocket scientist but I think that I can answer that! So tomorrow is another day and another chance in God’s amazing world to be the person that I want to be, and with God’s help, am going to do it!
LESSON OF THE DAY – “It is not work that kills men; it is worry. Worry is rust upon the blade.” Henry Ward Beecher