When I left you last night I had not realized where I was. Since Wednesday night this whole week has been a blur. Last night was the worst night yet. Even with 2 benedryl I can’t honestly tell you how much that I slept or if I did at all. The foam in my throat got so bad that I brought in a glass to bed to spit in so I wouldn’t have to get up. I was nauseous and hurting and my brain would not shut up. I did get up up to tell William goodbye at 4 then laid in the bed and read until Kathy got home. When I realized that it was daylight and I opened my eyes and I had a headache that was worse than any that I had ever had. That coupled with the soreness in my ears and throat made me begin to question if I could really go on any longer. I finally got out of bed and walked into the living room and got on my knees and asked God to help me get through this then got up and took my medications and crawled back to the bed. Poor Kathy from all of the cooking and hosting all week slept until 11 when we both got up and miraculously it had passed. I knew that the worst was finally over. Grits with
Sydney, a couple of pedialytes and I showered, shaved and put on clothes for the first time since Wednesday night. Today was spent doing some laundry, picking up a bit and resting on the couch. I wanted to go out to the shop with Kathy, but decided to take it slow. Sometimes, even in my case, reason does work out! I am here to testify that God is good and if we think it is too much all we need to do is ask for help. The trick is to listen for the answer. I don’t think it would have made a difference without the action of taking the medicine and doing the next right thing to get through it. He gave me the clarity and strength to see the answer. Burns don’t heal, nausea doesn’t go away, calories don’t get consumed until I take responsibility to either care for the issue myself or ask another person to help me get it accomplished.
Speaking of illness, I have a dear friend that also needs some prayers. Susie of Bernard and Susie has come down with shingles and has had them for a month. We spent about an hour on the phone today picking each other up and it was very healing for both of us.
Tomorrow starts the regular world again. My beloved has to return to work and I am really going to miss her being around. It has been so nice having her here and I love her so much. I have the second to the last treatment at 8 am and a visit with Dr. Levinson, my internist, at 3:45 so my day is pretty full. I will leave you tonight with saying how blessed I am to have a God of my understanding, strong friends and family, and a willingness to beat this thing called cancer. Without the three I would be hopelessly floundering, driven by fear and self-pity. Instead I get to live moment by moment knowing that this will soon be behind us and that I am just where I am supposed to be, enjoying my best Thanksgiving ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY – “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” George Bernard Shaw