Okay, fasten your seat-belts, we are going to rumble tonight with an age old dilemma. WEIGHT! God bless those of you who have been born with the weight and shape of your dreams and even more to those at peace with yourself. I know that is all over the board and I appreciate your contentment and happiness. I am not so blessed and haven’t really come to terms with the subject. The Penny clan has always been characterized by it’s ability to look at a piece of cheesecake and put on 2 pounds. Since childhood I have been up and down the ladder. To keep my weight I have run, worked out, Adkins, Sugar Busters, South Beach, walked, starved, high protein, low carbs, moderation and through it all I have figured out how to maintain a 10 pound range between 175 and 185. I feel best, ie clothes fit, work comfortably, at the 175 mark, but I know that Halloween through Christmas are going to put me near the 185. Candy, cookies, ice cream, cake, special foods, eggnog I’m there! And I have become at peace in that range. Normally by summer I am back down and life is good. This year with the injuries and pneumonia, it wasn’t coming off and secretly I was tickled to death when they told me I could lose around 20 pounds in treatment…..yes I know some of us ARE sicker than others. When they did the throat biopsies I lost 10 pounds and was digging it, but the reality of what the doctors where telling me sunk in and I knew that I had to put it back on before I started. I ate everything that wasn’t nailed down a gallon of ice cream a week, double desserts, honkin’ steaks, fried chicken, potatoes, biscuit and gravy, ribs, field peas, fish sandwiches, Kystal, McDonald’s, Wendy’s the Dreamette, anything that I thought that I might love and more and I made it! 1st weigh in was 186 pounds. Dr. Guthrie told me that I needed to consume 2000 calories of high protein food every day, drink 2 liters of fluid and make one of those an electrolyte drink. Well friends, it is without a doubt the hardest thing that I have ever done. I keep a food diary and record everything that I eat. For breakfast I drink a smoothie – one banana, one cup of coconut milk, 2 scoops of egg white protein, one cup of greek yogurt, and a cup of berries and while it gets me 700 calories and 75 grams of protein – it fills me up! I start immediately thinking of lunch because treatment is mid-day and I know if I wait too long I’ll really screw up dinner and miss my mark. So I think of what sounds good and try to add to it. Bologna sandwich, add mayonnaise and cheese to get the extra calories and protein, wash it down with eggnog and finish with a cookie. Snack is peanut butter on crackers with cheese and then dinner! Scrambled eggs made with cheese and milk mixed with sausage with a side of toast and finish it off with a bowl of ice cream before bed. I AM FULL! And you know the really stinking part of it? When I stepped on the scale this morning I was 176 pounds… I have lost 9 pounds in a week. WTF?? So I really packed it in today and we will see tomorrow. I wander through WalMart, yes I am WalMart junkie, looking for that high calorie, high protein treat and worry what is going to happen when my throat gets sore and I have to go to softer foods. BUT I will get it down because I DO NOT want a feeding tube. Maybe the next time I need to lose a couple of pounds I will try the Dr. Guthrie EAT IT ALL DIET. I know quit bitching.
Today was a good day. I gave a little blood, spent some time on the radiation table with Hana and Jenn, wandered WallyWorld and came home and took a walk. Just a little fatigued and sore, but tolerable.
I walked in the rain today and realized how much I missed it. It was just a light drizzle, but cool and relaxing. I met a couple of critters, a garden snake and a banana spider. (that’s what we call them anyway) and communed with nature. Bernard and Susie stopped by to deliver goulash, mashed potatoes and corn muffins for dinner – it was spectacular! and I spent some time on the phone. God is good and has given me another wonderful day. Kat, Sydney and I are watching The Voice and getting ready for an appointment with Dr Guthrie, chemo and radiation tomorrow. I hope that your day was just as magical, enjoy your evening and we will catch up tomorrow!
LESSON OF THE DAY – Be careful what you wish for, God may give it to you!