Day 6 – 30 Radiations 5 Chemos to Go

2017-10-21 18.11.15
Day 6 Heading out for a walk 178 lbs

God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change…
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

Happy Saturday!  What a difference a day makes.  After signing off last night Kat and I were watching DateLine trying to make it to the end to find out how the jury ruled only to both fall asleep 5 minutes before the end…..UGGGG!  That led to a Rip Van Winkle induced coma.

2017-10-21-18-09-10.jpg
Deep in design

  I finally slept and boy did I sleep.  We had a meeting with SOMMA, Society of Mixed Media Artists, this morning and I vaguely remember Kathy asking me if I was ready to get up.  Well I did at 10am long enough to take my medicine and eat breakfast before heading back to the sheets.  When I next stirred it was 2 and Kat was home so we had lunch and took a nap.  Finally about 5 I got up, got dressed and went for a walk in the woods, while she worked in the shop.  It is a little after 7 and I am not long for this world.

The confusing thing about this is that no one can really tell you what to expect.  When I woke up this morning, my head hurt, I was nauseous and disoriented….to be fair I was scared.  I remembered the comfort of sleeping in Kathy’s arms protected and how secure I felt, so I started to do what I had been taught.  Brush your teeth, take your medicine, give Sydney her treat, say your prayers, eat breakfast and slowly but surely things were okay.  When you get sick and go to the doctor they give you medicine or a shot and slowly you feel better.  I am faced with a cure that they give you medicines that make you feel worse until they kill the thing that is growing in you.  And the first week is filled with different feelings and questions;

  • Should I have this headache?
  • Am I full, is it gas, or is it normal?
  • Should my ear ache like this?
  • Should I be sleeping?
  • Should I have more energy?
  • ARE YOU JUST A WIMP?

I now realize why I see the doctors every week and I will take Kat and Jan on the visits this week instead of going it on my own to make sure that I don’t shrug it off.  That is why I started my day with the Serenity Prayer – It has been my mantra all day.

We live in a magical place.  Kathy’s family has lived here for over 50 years and in its heyday it was 17 acres and home to 3 families and 4 generations.  They farmed, raised animals, lived, loved and prospered and died.

Today there are two families left.  Her Aunt Pie and Uncle Tom and Kat and I.  We are down to 5 acres each that are now pasture but are nestled among woods, creeks and other farms.  I spend my days in the shop surrounded by the world and nature.  The plants and flowers, fish and ducks in Tom and Pie’s pond, the birds, turkey, deer, coyote, wild hogs, hawks, armadillos, humming birds and squirrels.  The changing of seasons and best of all gazing at the stars at night.  When there is a full moon I call it the Kathy moon, because it fills my heart with emotion.  Today I walked through the pine forest across the road and sought out the Stalls – Hysler Cemetery.

It is a small graveyard and the graves range from 1881 to 2016.  I find peace there wondering about the families and the lives, who were they, what did they see, how did they live are they still connected?  We have a family cemetery in Kentucky that you have to ask permission from a homeowner to go into their backyard to spend time with your ancestors. It is always a magical time when I visit to read the tombstones and hear the history.  I reminds me that I am part of something bigger a living breathing history that somehow shaped who I am today and reminds me to try to be a better person so that future generations that I touch can continue to grow.

 

 

Author: Don

Hi my name is Don Penny I am a professional woodturner in Jacksonville, FL. I was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic squamous cell carcinoma in 3 lymph nodes and the base of the tongue and this is my story of day to day life while fighting cancer.

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